Doormat People….
On the outside, stepped on and forgotten at the door……
I used to make a joke that one day I wanted to be indoor carpet……
Ever feel like you are a stepping stone for others to catapult off of on their way to their next adventure?
How about the peeps who have their own solar system that rotates around only them and some how you are magically transformed in a “recycle mat?” You know, the scenario….there you are at the door….shaking yourself off…and here they come again. You drop anything that you might of had going for yourself and talk about how you can help them...again. You listen, sacrifice (jobs, relationships, stability, money, time, your life..ect.) and once they are okay….there you are STILL at the door…mat…
Ever notice that it is not reciprocal…. rather it is expected? You are reminded that you are a doormat when you ask them to return the favor. The response is something like; “Oh, I am so busy.” “ I wish I could but…” Their doormat to you looks something like this:
How did this pattern in my life evolve to my proverbial role as a doormat for loved ones and others who have muddied me up on their way to their dreams? I think it started at a young age when I found joy and love in ‘doing for others.
Over the years, I suppose my giving and loving nature became an expectation of my friends, family, relationships and co-workers. I kept my nature of giving and positivity going for the majority of my life.
Now, don’t get me wrong…I have encountered a couple doormats in my life that I have unconsciously stepped on as well. Then when I reflected on those experiences, I felt ashamed.
Okay, I know you are shaking your head and saying; “it’s all about choices!” WTF! Well-that’s-fantastic! I suppose I choose this role in my life and it has been in a pattern of; “stand up, dust off, resume door sill post and get muddied up again.” Rinse and repeat. Human’s lives are a set of behaviors that become habits and those habits become our lifetime.
I was once a beautiful green shag doormat…
I started reading other people’s doormats and consulted with some guru’s and spirit guides…..
A PORTABLE OUTDOOR MAT!!! WOW! This was an upgrade! I was really going places….not really….still in front of the door…..then my gurus sent me this….
Yep!! Yep!! I can relate to hash tags #1, #5, #7, #8, #9 and occasionally #10.
I woke up crying this morning and wrote this blog. Recently, I gave my 60 days notice to a wonderful employer and a nice place to live with the intention to build a business with my son and his wife. Another doorsill you may be thinking?
The two main scenarios played around in my head like little hamsters running on the circuit trainer. My employer was shocked at my termination notice and her response was, “WHY?!! I was going to leave you in charge while I moved to Australia!!” hhmmmm……#3,4 & 10!
Next, the issue of finding new housing for me, so that I can support my son and his wife build THEIR business. My daughter-in-law took on this task. I live in her country and do not speak the language fluently and I am not be able to negotiate the search and contract for rentals. (this is the task of employers-she is my employer). The stress of transition resulted in her anger, frustration and resigning from assisting me any further. # 3,4,5,8,&10….my son picked up the slack. (his intention is to liberate me towards a freedom…mat) Love him!
I thought…REALLY UNIVERSE??!! THIS IS ALL YOU GOT FOR ME??!!! No tengo nada……………
“Hello, my name is Elizabeth and I am a Recovering Doormat”
I am learning that boundaries are a good thing and also a very foreign concept for me. You can lose jobs, money and stuff….however, when you lose your TIME…..you can’t get that back.
I am trading in my worn out welcome mat and transforming into maybe a yoga mat or meditation mat…ultimately…a retirement-freedom-mat!
Of course, I will BE that new version right after I take care of #10…..old habits die hard….I am a work in progress…..peace and love….
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